


Love over Fear (Break fear, Reap love)

by notsohardsehun



Series: Fest_WorkCollection [11]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Cute Sehun and Baby Interaction, Domestic SeKai, Ex Lovers, Happy Ending, Implied Mpreg, Jongin finds a nanny, Jongin was an idiot, Jongin with a child, M/M, They say they had a breakup but they don't look like they had a breakup, baby jihun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27061681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsohardsehun/pseuds/notsohardsehun
Summary: They said that when opportunity knocks on your door, always be willing to take a chance, because you never know how perfect something could turn out to be. Well, in Sehun's case, he doesn't expect to see his ex and a child with the cutest toothy grin knocking on his door one fine day.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Series: Fest_WorkCollection [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057667
Comments: 30
Kudos: 137
Collections: Cuddle & Snuggle Adoptions





	Love over Fear (Break fear, Reap love)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for cuddleandsnuggle Round 1, Prompt CS098
> 
> Thank you so much to my lovely beta;  
> without you, this would never be perfect

Sehun knew something would be different when he woke up this morning.

They say, what your gut feels will always be right and in Sehun’s case, his instincts were damn right. It wasn’t like he knew for sure what exactly was going to happen but something in him just knew something significant and change worthy would take place.

It was seriously not what he expected. 

He had anticipated either something really bad to take place or something exceptionally good, like winning a lottery. The last thing he expected was to not just bump into someone he never wanted to meet ever again, but having that person right in front of him - at his doorstep. 

They say, when opportunity knocks on your door, always be willing to take a chance. 

But, was he willing to take  _ this _ chance? 

Not when the experience with this someone caused him so much pain. Sehun knows he’s taking hell long of a minute to respond but who cares. There’s so much going on in his head. Truthfully, this person – they share a long history. Their story goes years back when they first met during college and had parted ways just before they graduated. Sehun’s nice by saying, they parted ways. The truth is horrible. He doesn’t want to experience it ever again.

He’s not over-reacting. Seriously, no. Won’t you feel the same if your ex was standing at your doorstep? Sehun leans against the door, hands folding neatly over his chest as he waits for some sort of explanation from non-other than his ex-boyfriend, Kim Jongin. 

“What are you doing here?” Sehun asks when Jongin has his surprised, confused face on. 

Sehun knows the other too well, especially when he’s pouting, blinking his eyes cutely. On top of the usual cute expression, he wears an extremely soft, pretty haircut covering his forehead. Sehun tries to keep his eyes away because this whole look was the reason why he couldn’t resist Kim Jongin back then. 

“I was looking for 488?” Jongin says and that’s when Sehun finally acknowledges the thing Jongin had been carrying in his hand – a lump covered in a Mickey Mouse blanket. 

It starts to move, rendering Sehun to direct his whole attention on that suspicious lump. Slowly, a mop of shiny, black hair appears followed by little, chubby fingers and then, a soft whisper of, “daddy.”

Sehun pushes away from the door and stares at Jongin. If earlier he was surprised, now, he’s clearly shocked and upset – Jongin had a child with someone. “He’s yours?” Sehun asks, trying to look at the boy’s face but the little one has his pretty face hidden in Jongin’s neck. Jongin nods, “You’re 488 right?” he asks again, leaning over to look at the lot number. “I am. But why?” Sehun questions back.

“I thought it was a woman?” Jongin tilts his head in confusion, “I was supposed to leave Jihun with a nanny.”

“Jihun?” Sehun questions, more interested in the boy than the nanny factor. Jongin shifts a little for Sehun to see the boy and instantly Sehun’s cold demeanour towards the other shifts to being completely pleasant and welcoming. Jihun has a smile on his face and Sehun swears that’s the cutest toothy grin he’s ever seen along with his whole cute, chubby, squishy, pretty and soft face that makes everything possible for Sehun.

“Yes, can you tell me if you know any nanny around here?” Jongin asks, shifting Jihun to his other arm, the boy now focusing on Sehun instead of hiding in his father’s neck. Sehun shrugs, winking at the boy. He tries to make the boy smile so he could see that toothy grin once again. From his looks, he doesn’t seem any older than three years old. 

For a split second, Sehun turns to glare at Jongin because they’ve been apart for almost four years. In such a short span of time, Jongin found someone and made a baby. He scoffs, getting upset and jealous. He was stupid to believe in love. He was basically played – by an innocent face. Sehun loved Jongin so much.

“Do you have an address or number to call?” Sehun asks out of courtesy, not because he wants to chase the other off as soon as he can. Definitely not. Jongin struggles with the baby in one arm and the other reaching into his pocket. He looked like he needed help as he shifted Jihun onto his other arm while checking his pocket. “I think it’s in here.” He mumbles, struggle evident on his face as he tries to reach for the bag pack he’s carrying.

With a sigh, Sehun offers to help. “I’ll hold him,” he says, only to receive an extremely surprised Jongin as a response. Sehun tilts his head with a mocking smirk directed to his ex, “Why? Don’t want my help?” Sehun asks and Jongin shakes his head immediately, “I thought you were reluctant to help me.”

“Yeah? Stop assuming things. It’ll make your life easier.” Sehun says bitterly, hinting at matters from their past. Jongin frowns unhappily but prods Sehun to take the boy who seems hesitant to be in Sehun’s arms. “Is he the cry baby type?” Sehun asks before opening his arms for the boy and once again Jongin frowns, “He’s not.”

“Come here you little Michelin,” Sehun says, taking the boy from Jongin, ignoring the little brush of their fingers and arms. The contact triggered memories; warm and cold. Sehun brushes the thoughts away by focusing on the boy who’s silent in his arms. That’s a surprise. Sehun had seen babies breaking into loud cries when they’re in strangers’ arms but this little one wasn’t crying. “I’m Sehun.” he introduces himself to the boy, “Your dad’s ex-boyfriend.”

The baby giggles but Jongin glares at him. “I thought he should know.” He mumbles and watches Jongin squat down on the floor, ransacking the bag pack looking for a phone number. “You know what,” Sehun stops Jongin before he could put a mess in the corridor, “Come inside,” he says, “I don’t want you putting baby things on the dirty floor.” Sehun invites the other and walks in with little Jihun in his arms. Jihun starts punching him all of a sudden and Sehun puts the boy down naturally. The little one curls his hands into a tiny fist around Sehun’s forefinger and squabbles like a cute duck. He’s looking around – curious like a cat.

“I can’t find it,” Jongin mumbles, rummaging the bag with a frustrated pout on his lip. “Are you sure it’s in the bag? Check your pockets once again,” Sehun tells the other as he focuses on the little one rather than Jongin’s trouble over a missing paper. Jihun lifts his chubby legs, stomping it on the floor before taking a step forward – the whole baby walking process excites Sehun. He never really focused on a human life process but having a baby in his house, watching Jihun take his little steps reminds him of the very important gist of life itself;

Taking little steps, one by one.

“I don’t know where it is. I’m really an idiot.” Jongin mumbles, sighing loudly. Sehun glances at the other and finds Jongin standing with his hand on his hip and the other in his hair. He looks broken. “Is there an 884 in this building?” Jongin asks, “Maybe I mixed up the numbers.”

Sehun shakes his head, “No,”

“448?”

“I don’t think so,” Sehun frowns, “The floor below starts with 3 and the one above starts with 5,”

Now, Jongin looks like he’s about to cry. “I am sure it’s here. This is the building.”

“Where are you rushing to, leaving your boy to the nanny?” Sehun finally asks, curious about Jongin’s plan.

“I have an interview in an hour,” he says, anxiously rummaging through Jihun’s bag once again.

“Did you speak to her on the phone? Surely you have her number saved,” Sehun suggests.

Jongin massages his temples and shakes his head in complete regret, “No, I spoke to her using my friend’s phone. Mine fell into the tub while playing Jihun a Pororo video.”

Sehun raises his eyebrows comically, wanting to laugh at Jongin’s misfortune but he opts to stay silent. He wants to sympathize with the other but if he’s to help and pity Jongin, he’d cave in – fall back in love. He can’t do that. He absolutely cannot fall back in love. Unloving Jongin was hard. It took two years to get over their relationship and just as he’s finally started moving on, the Gods decided to bring Jongin back into his life again.

“God, I’m such an idiot.” Jongin sighs, “I have to skip this interview then,” he mumbles, more to himself but Sehun hears him.

“Take him along,” Sehun suggests.

“He’s almost three, Sehun. I can’t leave him alone without supervision.”

Sehun swallows at the way Jongin said his name. It’s the same tone he uses when he’s lost and helpless. “Call someone you know. Since it’s an interview, just get someone to look after him for a short while”

Jongin sighs again, “The only person I know is out of town now. Why do you think I’m looking for a nanny?”

Sehun blinks his eyes, “You think I know what’s happening in your life? I was just suggesting! I don’t even know you fucking got a child after breaking up with me, Kim Jongin!” Sehun shouts angrily from where the TV was as he walks alongside Jihun.

Jongin glares at him and takes a deep breath, “Thanks for helping, really.” Jongin says and starts packing Jihun’s bag once again. The little boy sends Sehun a pitiful look with wide puppy eyes and on cue he starts wailing, “Shit, I didn’t do anything.” Sehun mutters, getting down on eye level with the boy.

“Move,” Jongin pushes him aside and picks Jihun up, “Of course you didn’t,” he spits bitterly and Sehun holds Jongin’s arm before he could turn away with the boy. Sehun wants to yell, scream and punch Jongin in his guts but the boy in his arms, crying and wailing helps to control his temper.

“You seem to have a lot of anger towards me,” Sehun claims when he lets go of Jongin’s arm. Jongin starts shaking Jihun in his arms, rocking the boy to silence. Sehun notices how Jongin is glancing at the clock on the wall from time to time as Jihun calms down. He tries to put the boy down and continue packing his bag but Jihun refuses to leave him. Being a gentleman and a kind host, Sehun offers to help Jongin with the little items that were left out.

“Here you go,” he passes the bag to Jongin. “You’re really skipping that interview?” Sehun asks.

Jongin sighs helplessly, “I can look for something else when I get a proper nanny.”

“I can look after him,” Sehun says, so quickly that Jongin barely heard him, “You what?” Jongin jerks back.

“I said, I can look after him for a while.”

Jongin stares at him, unmoving for a long minute. “Why would you do that?” Jongin finally asks.

“This…” Sehun gestures to themselves, “I consider this as fate so I’ll help you take care of him.”

“You don’t have to do this out of courtesy, Sehun.” Jongin whispers softly, vulnerability obvious in his eyes as Sehun catches them in his palms, stepping closer to his ex-lover. “You surely have something else to do and I don’t want to burden you with Jihun.”

“I am quite free actually.”

“You love your work and ambitions more than anything… don’t burden yourself with unnecessary things.”

_ I love you more than my work and ambitions _ , Sehun wants to say but he swallows his secret and answers, “I am honestly free today Jongin and I don’t think this Michelin of yours would be a burden.”

“Stop calling him a Michelin,” Jongin scowls.

“He’s my Michelin.” Sehun replies and Jongin raises his eyebrows, “Yours?”

“He’s in my care for a while now, right?” Sehun smirks enjoying the reaction from Jongin. The other turns around with pink hue on his cheeks, mumbling something about Sehun being annoying, possessive over his son.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jongin asks once again, now watching Jihun in Sehun’s arms almost drowsing back to sleep. “Yes, Jongin.” Sehun smiles, “See, we’re good. He’s falling asleep.”

“I’m trusting my  _ life _ with you, Sehun.” Jongin says, a bit too emotionally and this time Sehun quickly catches the other before he could have a break down. “Hey,” Sehun whispers, hands going to Jongin’s waist by instinct, comforting him from the side, “I am hurt that you don’t trust me but I understand where you’re coming from but Ni…” Sehun shuts his eyes, swallowing the slip of his tongue and burning on his cheeks – he called Jongin using his pet name, “You know me, trust me with that faith.”

Jongin nods, not commenting on Sehun’s sudden outslip but Sehun believes that pet name did something to him – his shy smile, not meeting eyes with Sehun reminds him of their very first date. Jongin wore the exact same expression. “I’ll be back in around an hour.”

“Take your time. I hope you get the job.”

“Thank you, Sehun.”

“See you later.”

“Jihun… Behave okay, I’ll be back.” Jongin tells the boy, kissing him on his forehead and momentarily, Sehun tries to sneak and capture the brief heat coming from Jongin. He’s pathetic and he refuses to admit his lingering feelings for Jongin.

“So, baby…” Sehun walks over to the couch, with Jihun in his arms and sits carefully, putting Jihun on his lap. They face each other awkwardly not knowing what to do. “I promised your dad I’ll look after you but what do I actually do with you?”

“What do babies do…” Sehun glances at the clock, “At 10-ish in the morning?”

“Do you nap?”

No replies. 

“You want to play?”

No replies. 

“You want to… roll around?” Sehun asks, mentally imagining Jihun crawling, rolling around happily playing with his rattlers. “Maybe not,” he mutters when Jihun blinks at him slowly, not interested in whatever Sehun was saying. But the little one is studying Sehun – he has his fist in his mouth, slicked with saliva and his big eyes that do not resemble Jongin, staring intently at Sehun. Maybe he thinks Sehun is a new, huge talking teddy.

“Okay… You want to watch something?” Sehun asks, glancing at his TV and quickly remembers Jongin mentioning about Jihun watching Pororo, “Pororo? You want to watch Pororo?”

A reaction came immediately, “Oh!” Jihun bounces on his lap; excited, wet fists almost hitting Sehun in the face as he squeals, “Oh oh,” Jihun says and Sehun takes it as him saying the word Pororo.

“Okay, I’ll see if they have it playing,” Sehun says, grabbing the controller on the couch and starts switching the channels. He shifts the little one to face the TV, leaning against his chest as they both anticipate the show. Unfortunately, after switching through almost all the cartoon channels Sehun didn’t even know he had, he announces sadly to Jihun, “I don’t have Pororo show,” Sehun pouts and he winces when Jihun bangs his head against his chest.

“Alright, no tantrums. Behave.” Sehun warns leaning in to quickly kiss the boy on his cheeks, fake biting his chubby cheeks. Jihun giggles happily and Sehun repeats the fake biting. Jihun’s laughter gets louder and he slides down on Sehun’s lap, still giggling happily. Sehun likes the sound of a baby’s laughter and with Jihun’s laughter resonating in his space, he wished he had a family of his own too. Sehun glances down to look at the boy – face contented, eyes curved into crescents.

It’s a familiar expression; something Sehun has seen before. Sehun swallows nervously, doubting his thoughts. Why would Jihun look like him? But the longer he stares at the boy, the stronger his thoughts become. Sehun shakes his head and pulls Jihun up to sit properly but he wrestles out of his hold to make himself comfortable on the couch.

“You look tired already,” Sehun says, “I think you’d like a nap.” He tells the boy and carries him to his room along with his bag. Sehun places sleepy Jihun on the bed and quickly searches his bag for his milk bottle. Sehun finds one in a warmer bag and slowly sits on the bed, feeding the boy his milk. “Should I tell you a story?” Sehun asks, breaking the silence as Jihun chugs down his milk.

“I know your dad,” Sehun says. Jihun responds by hitting his foot on the bed, lifting them in the air almost as if he understood what Sehun had to say and was excited about it. Sehun scoffs and smiles as he stares at Jihun’s leg, “We used to be lovers, madly in love.” He continues, reminiscing their college days.

_ Jongin was such a pretty boy; cute, soft spoken and sweet. Sehun on the other hand was a little rowdy. He played football and partied all night. It wasn’t until one day Sehun received news he got assigned a new roommate, all thanks to the college’s shitty management. But this one news turned out to be a blessing. When Sehun met Jongin for the first time, he was mesmerized. It was love at first sight but Jongin hated Sehun. He was sulky all the time and always ignored Sehun. Every time Sehun got back late, Jongin would scowl at him. Then, Sehun decided to start coming back early, changed his habits bit by bit all so he could be noticed by his pretty roommate. Then came the day Sehun found Jongin watching his favourite movie and shamelessly, invited himself to watch it too _ . _ Somehow, they bonded unexpectedly over Lord of the Rings. Since then, Jongin started opening up bit by bit to him and Sehun only fell deeper and deeper in love with his roommate. It was impossible not to fall in love with someone like Jongin. Compared to how he was previously, Jongin was a ray of sunshine, a bundle of joy and a person filled with positivity. He’s considerate and kind. Unlike Jongin, Sehun was a little self-centred. He was possessive over Jongin. He hated when Jongin spoke to other guys and he hated how friendly he was to everyone. His jealousy somehow didn’t reach the surface – he kept it all in his heart, only sulking and curling around his roommate pitifully when Jongin noticed him.  _

“I confessed first,” Sehun says, glancing down at the boy only to see him already sound asleep with the empty milk bottle in his mouth.

“You’re exactly like him; sleeping at odd timings.” Sehun laughs and tucks Jihun safely between pillows. He takes a deep breath before deciding on a trip down the memory lane now that he’s thinking about their relationship.

_ When Sehun confessed, Jongin agreed with a timid nod of his head but his lips and eyes reflected how much he loved the confession. They started having official dates and holding hands in public became a thing. They avoided eating together but they met between short breaks and Sehun would pin Jongin against the wall and tease the other. Kisses came a month after their confession. Sehun initiated it and Jongin engaged him in a full mouth to mouth, minutes long, passionate kiss. With kisses came needy physical touches and physical touches led them to their first. It was both their first. Sehun wouldn’t call them amateur but they were both awkward and clumsy. Yet, it was wonderful, magical and satisfying. _

_ Everything was perfect until six months later; Jongin changed. He started distancing himself. Sehun thought it was his fault since he had been busy with final year projects but no; Jongin was purposefully ignoring him. Then came the most devastating day in his whole life – Jongin wanted a breakup. _

“I’m not gonna go through this shit again,” Sehun tells himself, getting out of bed and walks over to stand in front of the window. He takes a deep breath and tries to regulate his breathing. He can think about his relationship but he cannot, absolutely not think about the breakup. It always infuriates him – just what was the reason? Why did Jongin break up with him?

With Jihun sleeping peacefully on the bed, Sehun rummages through the boy’s bag to check for his supplies. If he’s not mistaken, Jihun would wake up hungry and Sehun would definitely want to avoid a hungry baby’s cry. As he searches Jihun’s bag, he finds the boy’s clean set of clothes. They’re of the latest trend with cool prints. Sehun pulls it out and coos, “If you think I am handsome, look at my dad.”

Sehun chuckles and folds the tiny shirt nicely, “Of course Jongin would get corny things like this,” he mumbles, remembering that one time Jongin bought them couple sweaters. As he focuses back on looking for something edible in the bag, Sehun finds a clear pouch that contains some documents. Curiosity got through him as Sehun opened the pouch, completely forgetting the reason he was even rummaging through the bag. They’re Jihun’s documents – photocopied versions of the original documents. Sehun reads one; Jihun’s birth certificate. The first thing Sehun checks is the name of Jihun’s other father and he finds it completely weird that there isn’t any name on the document besides Jongin’s.

“Why didn’t he register a name?” Sehun mumbles, reading the other details on the document. He stares at Jihun’s date of birth – that’s a year after they broke up. Almost automatically, Sehun starts calculating back on the months (not that he was being a busybody, it just occurred so naturally); nine months back from March.

Sehun swallows and counts again. It couldn’t be July. He counts over and over again. It’s July and if Jongin has had Jihun from July...

“It doesn’t make sense,” Sehun mumbles, looking at Jihun on the bed. His mind was a mess, he couldn’t form any words. All he could do was stare at Jihun with the biggest disbelief on his face. 

“Oh my God,” he ruffles his hair, “I’m going to fucking lose my mind.” Sehun mumbles, pacing around the room, anger inside him growing. “Why Kim Jongin, why?” he grits through his teeth, staring at Jihun on the bed. “ _ Why _ ?” Sehun asks, “Why are you fucking doing this to me?” he whispers, kneeling next to the bed, looking at Jihun with tears in his eyes.

Yes, Sehun is crying. He silently sobs next to the bed, holding Jihun’s tiny feet. Jihun is his son. Sehun is very sure; Jihun is a part of him. The longer he stares at the boy through damp eyes; the more he spots the similarities between them. From his hair to his toes – the boy is clearly half Sehun, half Jongin. Jihun remains unbothered as Sehun continues staring at him. He seems to be sleeping soundly and from time to time he fidgets a little, takes a deep breath, licks his lips. His little fingers tighten into a fist and unconsciously Sehun pushes forward his pinkie finger for the boy to hold.

“Now that I believe you’re mine, I am going to fight for you. I want to take care of you, my Michelin. I want to kiss and cuddle you, watch you run, hear you speak, be there to scold and teach you, argue with you… God, I want to do everything with you.” Sehun whispers, leaning down to softly peck the boy on his forehead. He continues staring at the boy as his mind works on a whole conversation he will have with Jongin.

Sehun has no idea how he’s going to bring this matter up – their breakup is still a thick ice wall between them and now with Jihun; Sehun ruffles his hair with his other hand and cups his mouth quickly. He’s about to cry again. The only time Sehun had cried this badly was when Jongin had said, “We should breakup. I want to break up with you,” years ago. And now, he’s crying again.

Wiping his tears, Sehun looks for his phone and quickly reaches for the device on his nightstand. He still keeps his finger hooked in Jihun’s hold – this could be his last chance. He takes a deep breath to calm down as he recalls Jongin’s reaction when Sehun had volunteered to hold Jihun, “He’ll be the death of me,” Sehun mumbles, searching for a number. He quickly hits the dial button and waits for his reliable bestfriend to pick up his call.

“Chanyeol!” Sehun exclaims in a whisper, only to get scolded instantly for whispering. Sehun moves away from the little one and stands by the door to talk, “Jongin was at my doorstep.” Sehun starts and as expected, his friend gasps too.

“Yeah man and guess what, he has a kid.”

“What!?” Chanyeol yells through the phone, “Tell me everything,” Chanyeol demands and Sehun diligently does so; from the beginning till the end.

“Just a moment, Sehun.” Chanyeol stops the other, “You’re telling me, the child is also yours.”

“Yes Yeol, I roughly calculated. Jongin conceived when we were still together…”

“What the hell?”

“What do I do dude?” voice faltering, unable to control the sob from within, “he’s a part of me, he’s my boy too.” he finally cries out helplessly. 

“Dude, do you want the kid?” Chanyeol asks Sehun the million-dollar question, “Your history with Jongin…” Chanyeol says, adding boulder upon boulder to Sehun’s ability to think of an answer.

“That’s not what I want to think about now, Yeol” Sehun says.

“Then what?”

“Why did Jongin break up with me when he was having a baby….”

Chanyeol hums and sighs, unable to give a response. They both remained silent for some time until Sehun spoke again, “You know me, I still love him. I am still stuck at the time we broke up.”

“Then ask him. If you have to resort to punching him in order to get the answer out of him, do it! Sehun, this is not just about you anymore.” Chanyeol tells him, a little too enthusiastically; anger and desperation tinted.

“Do you think this will end well?” Sehun asks his best friend.

“Listen to him. That’s important. Listen and decide, control your temper.”

Sehun goes back to Jihun after the phone call and sits next to his son, staring at the boy. At the same time, he takes some pictures – just in case matters settle badly between Jongin and him. Somehow, Sehun is determined to make things right. Back when they were still together, they were... always happy, loyal and understanding towards each other. They were supportive and always there for each other. Until, Jongin decided to turn his back on Sehun.

Twenty minutes later, Sehun hears soft knocks on his door and rushes to it anxiously. It must be Jongin behind the door. Sehun glances back to his room; to Jihun. He knows what he wants but the biggest barrier is currently standing behind the door. He has to break it apart and earn what’s rightfully his. As compared to all the thoughts running through his head, Sehun opens the door with his usual stoic face. As expected, Jongin stands awkwardly by the entrance.

“How was the interview?” Sehun asks, walking back inside and glances at the other when Jongin reluctantly steps in. He shuts the door behind him and sighs, “I think I’ll get it but I am worried.”

“Worried about what?” Sehun asks, leaning against his grey couch. It’s seriously awkward – he doesn’t know how to approach the elephant in the room. Jongin is also avoiding gazes, looking everywhere else but Sehun. “Jihun,” he says, “Where’s Jihun by the way? I should get going.”

“He’s sleeping,”

“At this hour?” Jongin frowns, looking sceptical but quickly, Sehun shrugs, “I gave him milk and he dozed off.”

“Jongin…” Sehun starts, hesitant and careful, “I…” he clears his throat not knowing how to even start  _ this  _ conversation, to get the answers he desperately needed. 

He mentally constructs all the sentences but none seemed appropriate. He looks at Jongin only to find Jongin staring at that one dusty photo frame Sehun has on his bookshelf – it’s a picture of them. “You didn’t tell me about Jihun,” Sehun says, surprising Jongin with the question as the other snaps his head quickly at Sehun.

“What?”

“You didn’t tell me about him, why?” Sehun repeats.

“We broke up,” Jongin explains unreasonably. Sehun shakes his head, “No. You never told me you conceived, you didn’t tell me we were having a baby. You didn’t tell me.”

Jongin widens his eyes – as big it could get. Sehun knows this face very well. He had caught the other’s lie swiftly and all doubts Sehun had in his chest minutes ago vanished. Jongin did hide his pregnancy from Sehun. It’s clear and evident on his face.

“Why didn’t you tell me we were having a baby?” Sehun whispers painfully. He doesn’t want to look at Jongin and break apart, cry. He’s not going to do that; Now he’ll have to be strong and fight.

“Why do you think Jihun is yours?” Jongin answers back and Sehun raises his eyebrows at him, “Really? You want to go there? It could be nasty Jongin.” Sehun warns and the other gulps, looking away immediately, avoiding the intensity of Sehun’s eyes – he’s serious. 

“I saw his documents,” Sehun adds when Jongin stays silent. Slowly, Jongin moves to the nearest chair and sits, hands cupping his face. He looks dejected and lost, broken and helpless.

“I did what I had to do,” Jongin mumbles and Sehun had Jongin repeat his words twice.

“Do what exactly?” he walks over to the other.

Jongin looks up at him, “I had to hide the pregnancy from you and when I couldn’t hide it anymore, I couldn’t stay with you.”

“FOR WHAT FUCKING REASON, JONGIN!” Sehun screams, surprising Jongin. He jumps a little on the chair and looks towards Sehun's bedroom, reminding him of Jihun who was still asleep. “Why did you hide your pregnancy? Why did you break up with me?”

“YOU HAD BIG DREAMS SEHUN!” Jongin raises his voice, “You were almost there, dreams within your grasp. I didn’t want the baby to be the reason that held you back from all that you could achieve!”

“What the hell are you even talking about? Who are you to decide that for me?” Sehun reaches forward and grabs Jongin by the collar, forcing him up. “MY LIFE BECAME A MESS AFTER YOU LEFT ME,” he says, “You were the only constant thing in my life, my driving force and for heaven’s sake Jongin… we talk about everything, why not this? Why didn’t you consider talking to me about this?”

Sehun almost punched Jongin in the face but he realized this was not it. “I tried talking to you. I tried understanding from your point but I just couldn’t think of anything that could be a reason for our breakup! You basically broke me into pieces and all that I have left with me, put together after years, is now shattering again.”

“Did you think it was easy for me?” Jongin asks, staring at Sehun, eyes stern as if Sehun was the only one suffering.

“Obviously! You made a decision this easily. If it was hard, you’d have talked to me about it!” Sehun’s grip on Jongin’s collar tightens and he pushes him back aggressively. Thankfully, he fell on the couch. Jongin suddenly looked so small as compared to when he was standing. 

“We decided everything together. Everything. Together.” Sehun hisses, punctuating his words. He wanted Jongin to think back – of all those moments they have spent evaluating, weighing and deciding on matters. “But this, something as big as having a child… you hid it from me, decided everything on your own.”

Silence fell upon them. Only Sehun’s heavy breathing can be heard in the room. Jongin casts his eyes low and bites his lips, regret washing over his face. “I was scared…” he whispers, “I was so scared. It was not what we planned. We wanted to get stable first but…”

“Did you not trust me enough?” Sehun moves closer and sits next to the other. He rests his hand carefully over Jongin’s thigh and when he doesn’t get pushed away, Sehun pats Jongin’s thigh. Touches like this, calms them – makes them  _ think _ and brings them closer. “I was…” Jongin turns to look at Sehun,

“I was insecure…”

“Stupid too,” Sehun rolls his eyes and looks away, “There were only two outcomes; either it goes good or bad but you decided that it was bad, for both of us.”

Jongin glances towards Sehun, “If I told you about it, what would you have done?”

The question is delicate but serious. Jongin is testing him for something yet, Sehun is unsure on what it is. Jongin is trying to see something, “I would have been happy…” Sehun answers honestly, without dilly-dallying. “Yes, I had dreams but Jongin… having a child is a blessing.”

Jongin looks surprised, eyes glistening with tears, “I would have adjusted my plans and made it work.” Sehun explains.

Jongin plays with his fingers, looking down at his lap. He’s disappointed. “I am not saying things just to please you. No.” Sehun continues, “We made plans together. You were a part of my plans; I could’ve adjusted a bit and added Michelin in it.”

Jongin turns quickly and glares at Sehun, “Stop calling him Michelin.”

Sehun scoffs, “If we discussed this years ago…”

“I was stupid,” Jongin admits.

“No doubt,” Sehun scoffs.

Sehun smiles back when Jongin smiles at him and jumping into the moment, Sehun leans in and engulfs Jongin in a hug, “Is this okay?” He asks, hugging Jongin tightly. Jongin nods, “I feel like I can breathe easier now.”

“Drama queen,” Sehun teases and squeezes Jongin in his hold. When Jongin looks up at him with a pout; being an opportunist, Sehun leans down to kiss but it gets interrupted by a sound from behind. They both pull apart and focus on the sound, followed by Jongin’s gasps, “Jihun!”

Sehun follows Jongin into his room, surprised how Jongin knew where Jihun would be without him guiding. “So, this is how it’s going to be huh?” Sehun asks, looming over the bed while Jongin tends to the groggy boy, “What?”

“He’s going to cockblock us.”

“Us?” Jongin pretends to be shocked but his expressions; the excitement on his face gives him off.

“It was never you and me, it has always been us.”

  
  


“You want to have us?” Jongin asks, hesitant over their pending relationship. They have been apart for years now, reassurance needed without a doubt, he doesn’t know if this was what Sehun wanted. Sehun raises his eyebrows, “Of course I want you, Jongin. I have always wanted you…”

“But, don’t you have anyone else now?” Jongin asks, wanting to know if Sehun has moved on.

“No… No one else. I want you and I want Jihun…” Sehun answers, “Do you have any doubts or any problems? A partner whom I don’t know of?”

“No,” Jongin answers with a shy smile.

“Do you want to be with me?” Sehun asks, realizing he never asked Jongin if he still wanted to be with him, “Jongin?”

Jongin carries Jihun in his arms and gets off the bed. He stands in front of a hesitant and doubtful Sehun. “Here, hold him.” Jongin tells Sehun, “We have lots of catching up to do and some matters to clear but yes, I want to be with you.” 

Shaking the boy lightly between his arms as Jongin mixes Jihun’s formula quietly, Sehun takes the chance to talk about the subject he’s been meaning to bring up if the other accepts their relationship again.

“So, when do you wanna move in?”

Jongin freezes his actions for a second, slightly taken aback by Sehun’s sudden question. But, a smile slowly forms on his face as he turns to look at the image he had been dreaming to give Jihun; a complete and happy family. 

“This weekend? I need some time to pack and you know, with Jihun, it’s gonna take more time.”

Sehun doesn’t reply but instead walks over to his closest with Jihun in one hand and with his other, starts throwing clothing into a duffel bag. 

“What are you doing?” a confused Jongin asks.

“Can’t you tell? I’m packing to move over to your place for the week. While you pack, I’ll look after Michellin.”

Jongin frowns upon hearing Michelin but lets it slide, “oh okay, could use a helping hand with that.”

“Erm no. You’re doing the packing. Alone. I’m just there for Michelin.” Sehun adds in a playful tone.

“Hey!” Jongin starts chasing Sehun but stops when he points to a now calm Jihun (don’t wanna annoy a baby!)

“Oh by the way, who told you about the nanny?” Sehun asks, remembering the very reason why Jongin was even here.

“Chanyeol helped me…” Jongin says and raises his eyebrows when Sehun freezes, “What’s wrong?”

“I spoke to Chanyeol earlier and he didn’t tell me anything.”

Jongin scoffs and shakes his head, “Oh my god.”

“He set this up,” Sehun mumbles, coming to a realisation. “I’ll…” Sehun rubs his forehead but Jongin laughs and everything seems better. “He did us a favour…”

“A huge one,” Sehun walks over to Jongin. He pecks Jongin on his cheek and places one wet smooch on Jihun’s round cheeks. “I’ll make sure to send him a gift.” 

  
  



End file.
